Hello loves! This week’s post is really personal and I hesitated to share and only have a few. It’s not because I don’t want to share and those that know me, know I’m an open book. It’s just so fresh, emotional and a daily reality for me. Yet, my goal for Lens of Faith is obeying when the Holy Spirit leads no matter how I feel. My blog is not a common outlet based on opinion but every word directed by Him. I have had many of my readers tell me they feel the Holy Spirits peace and His power as they read each post and it encourages me to stay led.
As I’ve recently mentioned, God has given me over 50 specific promises of my future. If we were sitting together having face time I would share my journey with you. I will share it all at the right time on Lens of Faith. The details are so God, so ridiculous and proof that we serve the same “ridiculous” God of the bible today.
Do you believe in the God of the impossible?
That leads me to share my labor season. As I hold on to those specific promises, he is doing beautiful life-changing work in my heart. The journey of years has been a very long valley and would be impossible to continue if it weren’t for His supernatural grace.
Even though my journey has been very difficult it has never been as exhausting as it is now. I started to feel a sense of despair starting this year, 2017. As I went to visit my mentor and friend who is pregnant with her 4th child, I started to pour out my honest and raw emotions to her. “I just want to give up. Really, I can’t breathe. In addition, I have to fight every morning for my joy. I’m irritated for no reason. It’s not that I don’t believe God will come through, it’s just that I don’t want to do this anymore. On top of that, I have lower back pain for no reason. I’ve never had this. I’ve never felt this way. I’m SO over this”
She looks straight into my eyes and tells me, “Leah, it’s because you are about to give birth! You won’t understand this now since you’ve never physically had children. But everything you are describing is how a mother feels right before she gives birth. She has labor pains. She wants to give up. She’s constantly irritated. She has physical pain. She’s not happy. She just wants the baby out! You need to push. Press in and hold on to Him. Have hope this is you’re the last stretch.” It all made sense. I am pregnant with promise.
As I was asking the Holy Spirit what I was to blog about today, he led me to John 16:20-22. Where Jesus tells His disciples:
I just started tearing as I knew the Holy Spirit was telling me to share my labor season. Friends, if you are holding onto promises that you know are from God, if you’ve been in a long season of wait, do not give up. Even when you feel you cannot bear one more day. Press in and cling to His great faithfulness. He has never failed you and he won’t start now.